Daily Archives: February 1, 2010
Hey, after therapy I went across the street to B&N and used my 20% teacher discount and bought that book. I will read it and write a review.
Link at BC for this reviewwill post it later
Well, it’s time for the rose ceremony and Jake will be visiitng the home of four girls. He calls Tinley first, not sure if I spelled her name right.
He calls Alli second. She was worried.
Jake calls Gia third. I think he wanted her to sweat.
Jake calls Vienna last. But wow thought he was gonna send Vienna home.
But you gotta see the logic in this. He sends Corrie home but keeps Vienna because he knows he really does not want her. She was taking too long to open up. He was worried she would not blossom fully. Is she the one who said she was gonna keep it until she got married? Oh yeah she was the one who said she was saving it. Save it for the ride home.
Next week no rose ceremony. A bombshell dropped on Jake? Just have to wait. I think someone returns.
As I mentioned before, have to post my photos, I spent my summer vacation in 1) San Francisco, 2) Napa Valley and 3) Petaluma 4) Berkeley were the main places I visited or stayed.
So, this is so special that The Bachelor is doing part of this season in my town San Francisco. Anyway, Vienna thinks that she is making points with Jake by acting all coy and helpless and near tears. While poor Gia is just left out!
Vienna I want to tell you gal you just shot yourself in the butt and talked yourself out of a rose. A man does not want a sad sack or a woman who does not have high self esteem. I’m in therapy for that very thing. You are going to run jake away in Napa and him take a little napa with Gia I bet. Still watching the DVR…more in a minute.
Ooops, I told you so Gia completes Jake! He just told her he’s falling for Gia. Oh boy, they’re kissing and Vienna is on the hunt for them. This is getting intense. She no want him to cuddle anybody else. They are hiding and kissing while Vienna is having a meltdown. “Jake honey.”
While there is no cure for being or feelings of unlovableness there is a remedy. In my therapy today I told my wonderful therapist how my intuition was getting even greater. And everything I tell myself or others comes true out of the blue.
But there was the gnawing feeling of feeling unlovable by my children and the men that did not love me back, but used me instead.
I talked a lot today during therapy. Then my therapist described how the amygdala hears our negative thoughts about ourselves and sends it to the lizard brain where it is sent in less than a second down to the adrenal glands where adrenaline is released.
You know what that means? it means you are courting sickness, disease and death. Negative thoughts lead to bad things. But he told me to put my hands at my temples and push my face up as I thought my negative target thought.
He said what you did was smile and you told your brain to smile at negative thoughts that you label inside. With that wen you let bad feelings get inside and you react then you are giving your power away.
I’ve even begun to lose another phobia of watching blood, gore and why I was unable to become a doctor. I couldn’t look at the pictures.
I never forgave my Catholic high school for forcing us to watch the death camp reels. I nearly had a nervous breakdown.
But now I tell myself that while some of these things may not be illusions, in one sense when they are on celuloid they are an illlusion. One may not smile at catastrophe but you can tell your body that it won’t hurt you.